Sunday, April 24, 2011


I have recently come to understand a few things about myself and my family:

That love comes with heartache, but can be regained once lost.

Parental love should be continual, unquestioned in sincerity, and not requiring a grandchild as a price of admission for acceptance.

That my Grandmother was the wisest, sweetest woman I ever knew.

May 14th will be the hardest day of this year to overcome with grief and sorrow as my Grandmother's one year passing is finalized.

That a person's sense of self-worth is most often fashioned from how others perceive them and value them.

My daughter is already an accomplished actress at the age of two.

And that the rocky gravel one has traveled upon to reach this point in life helps pave the way for someone else to understand their own path.

Most of these understandings have come at great personal cost. I hope to the depths of my heart that no one else know some of what I have experienced. No one should have to know that their parents value their progeny more than themselves, or that they feel worthless based solely upon everyone else's opinion of them.

I reach out through the medium of the internet to seek an understanding soul--and not to be discouraged. I take great personal risk to reveal even what little I have said.

Please do not think little of me in my darker hours.


  1. No one who knows you could ever think little of you. Those who know you well think the greater of you in your darker hours because you are that much the brighter after the storm passes. We who know you best love you and think the greatest of you through both.

  2. Realization is half the battle.
    Some folks never get to know their grandparents. You are very lucky to have known your grandmother and to have sweet memories of her. I hope you share some of her stories here so that we can all get to know her.

  3. Anyone who thinks that little of you is out of their minds!

  4. I think it took great courage for you to write this. I hope things get better between you and your parents.

  5. "That a person's sense of self-worth is most often fashioned from how others perceive them and value them."

    This is so incredibly true. Sad, and true.

    I'm sorry for the pain you've been caused. I would dream of thinking less of you for talking about. And I'm very sorry about your grandmother.