Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Life was perfect in the embrace of your arms
I wanted for nothing
Shined so brightly
Loved so freely and felt loved in return

Glass houses cannot stand forever
The sun turned cold
Your embrace was empty
My world shattered like my dreams

Hurt and bitterness replaced hope and trust
I fled to protect my heart
I wear anger like a shield
What once was broken can never be mended

But I remember the nights in your embrace
Tender and giving before receiving
Stroking life into my soul
A master artist in every sweet touch

I remember how we fell in love
The music that sang for us alone
Our time of exploring and searching
How you so patiently calmed my demons

Was everything you said and did then a lie?
How could I not see your pain?
Why did you not confide to me?
Why did you hide such a terrible burden from me?

Even wounded my soul yearns to be with you
I see your face in our child
I hear your laughter in her voice
And I bury inside how much I miss you

Am I giving up on us too soon?
How can I have you now?
Can you release the lies for us?
Is there a hope anymore for us to be?

More than just distance separates us now...

In my secret thoughts you are ever there
You are still my only love
Even amidst all the pain and hurt
Though after all this you will probably not believe

How can we turn our backs on all we had?
Can we ignore our history?
Can we find ourselves again?
But how can I live as your second love?

I long to return to your arms but have distrust
Reassure me and court me!
Tell me you have stopped the lie!
Show me that it is still me that you desire!

There is no one else I want more than you
Be the hero you once were to me!
Turn away forever from the wolf!
Pledge yourself to me as you had once!

Can you not see what I need from you?
Kindness, compassion, devotion
Outward signs of inward affection
If indeed you still feel any toward me at all

Long have my tears soaked my pillow
And I miss you with every breath
Yet I need you to understand
I cannot return if I am no longer your love

Do you still not understand what I say?

Even hurt
Even weeping
Even raging
I still fiercely love you, James


Come back to me....


  1. That is a whole lot of pain you have divulged here. I hope things work out for you.

  2. If you truly want to be reconcilled, then you should talk to him. Not the internet. I'm not trying to criticize...just to help. There are hundreds of counselors willing to help couples like you to work out your differences. Even for free. If you are still wanting a life with him, then you will both have to work for it. If he's willing, then you owe it to yourself, him, your daughter, and to God to try everything you can to heal this marriage. If he's unwilling, then God will help you to heal. PRAY! It's a wonderful, healing thing. Talk to your preacher, a counselor, but definately not to your family. Or his. This just leads to grudges held longer than is prudent. I have been through this...it can be mended. If you try. Prayers are with you. :)

  3. Just dropping in. Hope everything is all right over there.

  4. What happened to you? You haven't posted in a while.