Poem

Life was perfect in the embrace of your arms
I wanted for nothing
Shined so brightly
Loved so freely and felt loved in return

Glass houses cannot stand forever
The sun turned cold
Your embrace was empty
My world shattered like my dreams

Hurt and bitterness replaced hope and trust
I fled to protect my heart
I wear anger like a shield
What once was broken can never be mended

But I remember the nights in your embrace
Tender and giving before receiving
Stroking life into my soul
A master artist in every sweet touch

I remember how we fell in love
The music that sang for us alone
Our time of exploring and searching
How you so patiently calmed my demons

Was everything you said and did then a lie?
How could I not see your pain?
Why did you not confide to me?
Why did you hide such a terrible burden from me?

Even wounded my soul yearns to be with you
I see your face in our child
I hear your laughter in her voice
And I bury inside how much I miss you

Am I giving up on us too soon?
How can I have you now?
Can you release the lies for us?
Is there a hope anymore for us to be?

More than just distance separates us now...

In my secret thoughts you are ever there
You are still my only love
Even amidst all the pain and hurt
Though after all this you will probably not believe

How can we turn our backs on all we had?
Can we ignore our history?
Can we find ourselves again?
But how can I live as your second love?

I long to return to your arms but have distrust
Reassure me and court me!
Tell me you have stopped the lie!
Show me that it is still me that you desire!

There is no one else I want more than you
Be the hero you once were to me!
Turn away forever from the wolf!
Pledge yourself to me as you had once!

Can you not see what I need from you?
Kindness, compassion, devotion
Outward signs of inward affection
If indeed you still feel any toward me at all

Long have my tears soaked my pillow
And I miss you with every breath
Yet I need you to understand
I cannot return if I am no longer your love

Do you still not understand what I say?

Even hurt
Even weeping
Even raging
I still fiercely love you, James

Please...

Come back to me....

My apologies-Giveaway

My sincerest apologies to all those I let down in the blog giveaway. There really are no excuses that would make it right, so I would like to do a belated giveaway. On September 3rd I will give away three interviews to those who comment, even if you just post 'Me too'. I will announce the winners on Sept 5th and post the first interview as soon as I can conduct it.

I hope this will help soothe ruffled feelings somewhat. I have had a lot of personal things going on and the day simply slipped me by. I feel awful about it and have actually been avoiding being online because of how badly I felt. It took a few friends to convince me to come back and face my disappointment as a blogger.

ALL comments to this post will be approved, no matter what they say. Please feel free to be honest in this.

I hope you guys will participate on the 3rd.

Thank you.

~Lydia

Busier than a Bee...or Would that be an Ant?

I am sure you have noticed that I am not posting near as much as I was. This is due to several things in my life, but the most pressing is my re-entering the world of academia.

I decided to try to finish my master's degree this time. While I am enjoying having homework again (yes, I said 'enjoy'...I am truly a nerd!) and showing my daughter an example of time management, it takes away from my creativity with my blog. By the time I am finished with papers and assignments, I feel like a dried up sponge. This is reflecting well in my grades (a 96 thus far in my Intro class), but horribly in the creative community.

So I thought I would pose a question to the void: Does anyone have any advice on balancing my creativity and my homework? Any sage words of wisdom in helping me figure out how to bolster my flagging muse while my nerd side kicks it into full gear?

Any thoughts could help, and be most appreciated!